It is a tormented creature, shrouded by its own sense of inadequacy. A gruesome appearance: great yellow and brown teeth, a slobering tongue too big for its mouth, slimy effluence discharging from every aperture not blocked by crusty snot or well set puss. It has a thin neck that is on the verge of snapping from the weight of its bulbous head that rolls around on its hairy breast. The skin covered in infected boils and pox is enough to make you heave.
Feeding time for this monster consists of Yorkie Bars by the crate and Red Bull by the gallon. It is morbidly obese and thus is in the judgement area of the shiny bbc news presenters. With their sparkling teeth laced with diamonds and their carefully constructed point of view. Their every vitriolic scream and damning homily meant to change the creature into what they perceive as normal and acceptable.
This monster has a destiny. For my money it will be the end of us all.
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